tolu.blog

Category: Career development

  • The One thing about the next year that will Change Your Life

    Image source: Unsplash

    It’s a new year. In all reality, nothing has changed. Except the fact that I am currently writing this with a headache, which I have waited all day to subside, while dealing with the screams of my 6 month old son who has taken it upon himself to announce his happiness to me every morning. 

    Considering the fact that I Was awake all night on the 31st, and would still do the same today, to meet up with a job I practically am tired of, the headache is probably understandable. However, adding the fact that the job is underpaid, and not fulfilling as well, It just made me ask why I put myself through the rigour of doing this for a year. Trust me, I did not think too much for the ‘Valid’ Reasons;

    • Like my wife being on maternity leave and the money being genuinely ‘needed’, meaning that as a responsible father that I consider myself to be, I should do All possible (at least legally), to get whatever my wife and son need, if I actually love them as much as I claim to.
    • Or the fact that I felt that I needed to sort out certain major expenses I took in that I did not wan to take as debts. Mind you, I took them for my family as well…
    • Or could it be the demands of extended family and others, who I want to ake feel that I can help them out when they are in  need at certain times…

    All these reasons seem valid, except the fact that  I did all these forgetting one fact, which I only came to realize in reflection of my decisions that brought me to the mental exhaustion at the end of the year;

    The best way to help my world, is to first, be the best version of myself, not as a destination or a point to reach, but in my experience of life.

    This resolution I came to, made me decide to end this non fulfilling job and income immediately, while focusing on what I could control immediately to bring myself fulfillment.

    If you are currently finding yourself in a position like this as well, I would like you to know that It happens to the best of us, and there is a reason for it. When you find yourself in a situation that you have not been in before, that seems like an ‘emergency’, chances are your decisions will be based on what you know, and what is common around you, or what you have grown up to believe. Growing up, I saw my dad work more and be less available when needs came up, which I did not know gave me a mindset about work being something that had to take you away from family and pay you ‘anything’. This was subconscious, but I only figured that out recently, and this is a mindset that is common among the average individual who has a predominant african upbringing like myself.

    The decision to be the best version of myself and look at every decision or challenge informatively, changed my perspective on everything. That is why, I can be here in my room, doing something I genuinely love and am good at, even if I had many reasons to not do it, and yet put effort in starting, and produce value, while being around my family and feeling fulfilled personally.

    What is the main lesson here?

    Do not focus on Money. Focus on Value, and Fulfilment, while asking what and who really matters to you, as they are not always synonymous with money. See money as just a tool, not an end goal, and you will be surprised how happier you would be just from changing your view that way. If you are currently committing 80 hours a week to what you do not find fulfilment in at all, or what does not produce results to help influence the major areas of your life that you actually care about, a little commitment such as reducing it to 60 hours and putting that 20 in committing to what really makes you tick could change your reflection on how this year would feel, and actually make a big difference along the line. If it doesn’t, at least you would not feel the regret of not doing anything. Because you would be better off knowing you did what was within  your control, and the journey, would mentally make you feel better than any other thing would be.

    Cheers to a new year.  However, please remember that there is nothing different about the new year, till you choose to do something different.

    Ciao.

  • Ignorar títulos. Solo crece

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    Is Growth Hard?

    Depends on where you come from.

    Well, Is it easy?
    Definitely Not.


    The year 2021 is somewhat filled with less motivation than usual. For Mel Robbins , she probably opines that it\’s a good thing, since she believes motivation is garbage anyways(btw, her mindset is phenomenal! Check out her book the 5 second Rule)

    However, A lot of things are also responsible for the lackadaisical attitude towards aggressive growth. One of it was a tough ride if the previous year. Another is the fact that The Cliché, \”that\’s the way I am\” / \”that\’s just me\” is starting to be a mantra for more people than not.


    Should this be a problem? Given the fact that it\’s a healthy way to feel good about yourself? Not necessarily.
    However, if you\’re already looking for an excuse to choose not to grow, then it shouldn\’t be for you.
    For some people, Growth has been a major focus for them. The somewhat bumpy ride of 2020 didn\’t make that route easy for them, as it was already feeling good, plus there were no major obstacles before them.
    2020 made people down, but made a lot of others go higher, depending on where you look at it from, and what you choose to do about it.


    If 2020 made you feel bad even if you\’d been investing little bits in yourself before, Think about how worse it could have been if you weren\’t. Then be grateful for he growth you\’ve got, and Choose to invest more in yourself.

    If it was really good and insightful, then I think your growth has already begun. Just keep grinding.

    And if it was a total disaster… Well, it wasn\’t. You just weren\’t guarded and prepared enough, but don\’t let that happen again. Besides Your being alive is not something You easily remember to be grateful for, without which, you won\’t even be reading this in the first place.

    Not to get you nervous or put you in a hurry, but 4 weeks out of 52 should be done by Friday. Let\’s see how the remaining would be a little bit more intentional. Aiit?
    I think my point is made, but just in case you need a bottom line, Growth, like exercise is essential, but, like your Job, has a commitment line dependent on just one factor, YOU.

    Thanks for reading.

    You can share if it was worth your read.

    Talk to you soon.

    Ciao.

  • The key to becoming a Superman

    What makes certain men more powerful and successful than others on Earth? What makes them different from other regular men? I believe I\’ve gotten the difference; and it\’s engrafted in a quote is like to share by Baltasar Gracian(culled from the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene):
    \”All men are idolaters, some of Fame, others of self interest, most of pleasure\”

    These traits are common among all men, or like a native proverb says in my country, \”something must kill a man\”
    The key to being successful is not by ignoring your weaknesses, but by embracing then and improving yourself. Build yourself to a point where you seem to lack weaknesses, and you ultimately become the Superman of your domain.

    \”The most powerful men in the room are the ones you have no idea of what they need or what they are capable of\”-Joel Toluwalase Oriola

  • What exactly do you want?

    I think what I\’m about to share is universal in category

    Habit #2 in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is: begin with an end in mind.
    Law 29 of the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene(my second recommendation…trust me, this is awesome) says, \”Plan All The Way To The End\”. Here\’s one exerpt from the book that I\’d like to share… It\’s highlighted in the picture below…

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    Now, Having an exact goal in mind is not a guarantee that you’ll reach it, but I\’m 100% certain that not having an end in mind will take you to the land of \”neverary\”, like the the genie(Will Smith) in Aladdin would say, if he had the chance!
    When your efforts are not directed at a specific aim or purpose, how will you know what specifically is needed on your path of growth, development and ultimately, success? How will you know what
    (Or who) to say no to and what(or who) to say yes to? How will you know when you’ve reached your goal, or if you’ve gotten off the track, if you’ve never defined what those things are?
    The truth is , you can\’t, and that in itself, is a sure way to fail in life. I believe you do not want that.

    If you do not, the question is, what exactly do you want?